What I Learned from Living with my Secretary

During my 26 years of existence here on Earth I have lived with a lot of different people. I spent about 18 years with my mom, dad and brother, Gary, 4 years with various roommates in college, 2 years with various roommates in graduate school, 1 year with my current housemates, 6 months (off and on) with a mentor and supervisor Jon and his family and 2 years with Syble, the secretary from where I used to work.

Before I begin, I need to give you some context so you don’t go right out and email my boss and get me fired for cohabitation, that is if you are still reading and haven’t already emailed him!

Shortly after graduating college I accepted a position with the North American Mission Board as a Mission Service Corp Missionary doing collegiate ministry at Eastern Kentucky University. Being a Mission Service Corp missionary meant that I had to help raise my own living expenses and support for my position and being fresh out of college, I did not have any money to just fuel my personal budget for 2 years. I knew that the cost of living for those 2 years was going to be somewhat considerable, so I was open to anything (anything being the operative phrase).

Shortly before moving to Richmond, KY, my supervisor Jon had told me about a potential housing opportunity with someone from the collegiate ministry on campus and my mind immediately conjured up an image of a graduate student looking for a roommate or an upperclassmen student finishing their degree who needed some help paying the bills. I did not anticipate, however, being offered the opportunity to move into the home of the secretary at our BCM.

Our secretary, Syble, was somewhere between the ages of 60-75, but being the tactful boy that I am I never asked, and she honestly does not look a day over 60. She had four grown children, a number of grandchildren, lived alone in a nice large house and had a heart the size of Texas as I would later find out. The first time I met this precious lady was when I was getting ready to move into her house and as she showed me around and I began to scope out my new living situation as a 22 year old single guy, I quickly began to realize that this was going to be a one of a kind, unforgettable experience. At our first meeting, for example, Syble greeted me with pompoms and a cheer that she remembered from years earlier on her cheerleading squad and over the next two years her sense of zeal, passion and compassion for others, self included, never wained.

During those two years I lived in a basement apartment in Syble’s home at no cost to me personally and began to learn about her life. We would try to have dinner together at least once a week and she would share stories with me about the joys and pain of her life and her latest thoughts on a current event or political race. I would often have students over at the house for a late night movie and more times than not I would hear a knock on the basement door, regardless of the hour, and Syble would be standing there with a plate of freshly baked cookies for my friends.

I believe there is something invaluable about community and I am amazed at the random and even obscure ways that God chooses to bring that into my life. I would have never thought that my relationship with Syble would have developed into a friendship that I still cherish to this day, but I am grateful that it did.

I also cannot help but believe that my generation is yearning for this type of connection. I am not saying that we all want to move into the home of a more seasoned individual, but I do strongly believe that we are looking for a connection with generations that have gone before us. I would cherish those opportunities to talk with Syble as she would share personal first hand stories about events I had only heard or read about. Likewise, I would like to think that in the 2 years I lived with Syble, she enjoyed my company and the community that was created as a result of me moving into her basement. It was a win-win for both of us.

I am a big proponent of looking for and seizing those opportunities where you know you are going to learn a lot and fully embracing and grabbing those moments by the horn. I could have never orchestrated the events of those 2 years on my own, but I look back at those formative years with great delight as God had me in a place where he wanted to teach me the invaluable life lessons of gratitude, grace, compassion, stewardship, hospitality, community and connection.

I learned through this experience that we all have a lot to offer to the communities that we exist within and that authentic community does not just happen naturally. I would encourage my generation to listen to those that have gone before because the wisdom available to you is invaluable and to those that have gone before, know that my generation is looking for this type of connection. We want to be mentored and invested in and a true sense of connection can often be found in the most unlikely of places.