Tired of Avoiding Your Doubts?

Why Not Ask Why?

I remember sitting in a pastoral care class in seminary. One of the first things the teacher told us was how we shouldn’t pretend to have all the answers. This sounded good to me. But throughout the semester, only personal stories of success were discussed. It seems there wasn’t one time when our leader hadn’t known the right answer.

This is our collective problem, though, isn’t it? As Christians we live with this unrealistic and dangerous idea that we are supposed to know it all, believe without fail, and lead others to the same unwavering certainty. So we don’t admit our doubts out loud. We have become so protective of our fragile Christian exteriors that we have, well, lied. In turn, we have taught others to do the same.

But as I have thought about my own struggles with questions and doubts, I’ve come to realize that this avoidance of doubt is anything but biblically based. We’ve turned Scripture into a series of stories about super humans who changed history by somehow floating above the ground. Yet, in truth, Scripture is jam packed with flawed people.

When we read honestly we find that the heroes of our faith were cheaters, swindlers, drunkards, murderers ” and doubters. One does not have to dig very deep to see that the reality of doubt, questioning, and a general lack of “the answers” is a fundamental part of this journey we call faith. In fact, it seems that when we deny the existence of our questions and doubt, it actually compromises the nature of God, the nature of humanity, and the nature of the faith that connects us.

Outside Ourselves

Not knowing is ultimately an essential part of following a Holy God. I know that most of us give a polite nod to the idea of God’s being mysterious, but rarely do we let this idea take root in our lives. It’s much more comfortable to hide behind the idea that somehow God is under control and figured out. But to deny or hide our questions is insulting to the God we should confess as “high and lifted up” (see Isaiah 6).

What’s more, that denial overestimates our own human nature. I used to lie in bed as a kid with my arms stretched out toward the ceiling. I would open and close my fists and wiggle my fingers to figure out how I was making that happen.

If I can’t understand even the most basic parts of my own minuscule humanity, then what arrogance I have to think I can capture all of God for myself. We humans are, by nature, finite and unable to box in an infinite God. We are at least partly confused, deaf, dumb, and blind when it comes to the Eternal. It is part of our nature ” the nature that Christ embraced on the cross as He embodied humanity and questioned, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). So if the incarnate God asked, then shouldn’t we be comfortable in such company?

This doubt and uncertainty does not make us hopeless. It just makes us dependent on Someone outside of ourselves. It leaves us in need of faith.

So Now What?

The question, then, arises: What do we as often doubting followers of Christ do with our doubt?

The story I have found most helpful is in Mark 9. Here we see a desperate father who takes his son to Jesus to be healed of an evil spirit. Notice the exchange that begins in verse 21:

“How long has this been happening to him?” Jesus asked his father.

“From childhood,” he said. “And many times it has thrown him into fire or water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”

Then Jesus said to him, “‘If you can?’ Everything is possible to the one who believes.”

Immediately the father of the boy cried out, “I do believe! Help my unbelief!”

I love the father’s honesty in this story because the state of his faith looks remarkably like mine on most days. He has this very authentic response to Jesus, which is essentially, “I believe. Help me with my doubts!” (The Message, v. 24).

This response seems to demonstrate what we are supposed to do with our honest doubts. This interaction with Jesus indicates that belief and doubt can and do coexist. The goal is not to pretend that we have it all together but to look to Christ to take what little faith we have and help us to keep moving.

Maybe all of us would be better off if we could learn to be honest and encourage others to do the same; but beyond honesty we would benefit from recognizing that doubt is not the end of the story.

We are called to the activities of faith and love, not just an intellectual understanding of God. We are called to believe what we know at this moment and trust that Jesus will take care of the rest. When our certainty does not bring healing, trusting in the One who is greater than we are in the midst of uncertainty can.

May we learn to love God and love others even though we don’t have all of the answers. May we remember that as 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 tells us, “Knowledge inflates with pride, but love builds up. If anyone thinks he knows anything, he does not yet know it as he ought to know it. But if anyone loves God, he is known by Him.”

This article was originally printed in CS magazine.