It’s Not Easy Being a Grown-Up

I hate making decisions. I always have. So I often choose not to. Which, I know, is technically a decision itself. But some of the options I have in life don’t seem to have a clear right or wrong answer; it’s just easier to sit back and let the situations resolve themselves. Should I go back to school? How can I be a good neighbor to the homosexual couple down the street? Should I stay in a relationship even though it isn’t perfect?

I just have to face it: Life hands me a slew of subjective choices. And the frustrating thing is that I know the Bible provides objective Truth (with a capital “T”), but asking myself, “What would Jesus do?,” doesn’t often shed light on whether I should rent or own a home.

When I was younger and had to make a decision, I did what all my Sunday School teachers told me: I went to the Bible. When you’re 6 and trying to decide whether you should be mean to the girl who is mean to you, the Bible makes it pretty clear: Love your enemies. (See Luke 6:27.) So, in other words, don’t bury her Strawberry Shortcake doll in the mud.

But being a “grown-up” is different. Sometimes I feel like I have to make decisions when the answer isn’t obvious, and there’s no Bible verse that ties up those loose ends. Oh, how I’ve searched for a: “Thou shalt replace thine timing belt when a mechanic suggesteth it.”

The Bible may not have a list of my questions and the exact answers for each one, but I see so much of myself in biblical characters. I just know I would have questioned God’s direction and ended up in the belly of the fish next to Jonah. And I’m so afraid I would have “pulled a Peter” with three sheepish denials of Christ when the going got tough. Looking back, it’s easy to see those were mistakes. But how do you decide in the moment?

As I search for the step-by-step decision-making guide, I realize that even Christ’s life shows me there’s not just one answer for different situations. Sure, some things are always the same. I know I’m supposed to love people - Jesus was big on that. But He demonstrated His love for others in different ways. Sometimes He would eat with sinners and remind them about the importance of repentance. (See Luke 5:29-32.) Sometimes He would get a little more physical and bring down the money changers’ tables in the temple. (See John 2:13-16.)

So where does that leave my decision-making process? I’m not sure, but I know I need to actively make decisions instead of passively making them by doing nothing.

Here’s the way I try to do it. First, I have to decide that it’s time to make a decision. This is sometimes the hardest part. Then, like Jesus, I determine my situation, get ready to take risks, and pray for what I want while being ready and willing to accept God’s plan for me, however He brings it about. (See Luke 22:42.)

It’s scary. Recently, I was once again feeling a little burned out in my job, and that feeling led me to know that I needed to make a decision. I looked at my situation, and I realized I have frightening flexibility on the job front since I have no spouse or children. And I knew that I could (and probably should) take a risk.

In the past, I would occasionally send off a resumé somewhere and just assume they’d call me if it was God’s will. This time, I actively pursued jobs in a variety of locations. I prayed. I sought wise counsel. I looked at jobs that weren’t perfect now, but that would let me do more in the future. It was terrifying. And, after a long time, I finally had to make a choice about a job offer. It was tough. There was still no obvious or easy choice, but I think I did the right thing.

Decisions are scary but necessary. My car won’t fix itself. Just being nice to someone doesn’t mean they are going to pick up on the life-changing message of Jesus Christ. I’ve got to be intentional in the way I live. Otherwise, I’ll just be stuck on the sidelines of the game of life asking myself more questions.