Is God Love, or Is Love God?

Luke, I am your father.

I grew up reciting that line from Star Wars in my sandbox in the midst of imaginary light-saber battles and epic showdowns between Darth Vader and his son Luke Skywalker. However, it was not just me. Every kid I knew was enamored by the original Star Wars trilogy. We dreamed of being the Jedi who held in the blade of his light-saber, the last hope for the galaxy against the dark side of the force. However, I can’t say that the girls I knew dreamed the same dreams. They were too busy playing house, or more importantly, using some folded-paper creation to determine who they might marry. Both boys and girls grow up with vivid imaginations that catapult them into the future. Nevertheless, they end up in totally different destinations.

While girls generally envision embroidered napkins and impassioned vows, guys are fixed on unlimited ammunition and unbridled horsepower. I can’t say I understood this until I uttered the words “Will you marry me?” From that moment on, it was a whirlwind of expensive invitations and multi-tiered cakes only interrupted by bridal magazines.

Yes, believe it or not, men and women have different desires. However, there is one thing that they have in common. Both desire relationships. Life is meaningless without them. Beginning with God’s desire to have a relationship with His creation, the Bible chronicles the importance of relationships. He also shows the method of relationships through His unconditional love for His wayward people. So what is the goal of His love? Is it a relationship in and of itself? No, the goal is to have a relationship with us. He could choose to have a relationship with any of His creatures, yet He loves us. We are the object of His love. Love is not an end in and of itself, but the method in which one has a relationship to another.

Why does this matter? Because while Scripture tells us that “God is love,” our culture tells us that “Love is god.” In the eyes of many, “love” is the ultimate goal in a relationship. It is a god. It will rearrange their priorities and drive them to irrationality. I have seen friends sacrifice their morals, their education, and even their walk with God at the altar of “love.” It’s hard not to believe, when we are constantly bombarded with songs to the god that is “love.” It doesn’t matter if you are listening to country, hip-hop, rock, or pop. You cannot make it through ten minutes of programming without hearing something about love.

Unfortunately, while the Bible looks to God in defining love, the world points to love as its god. Can you see the difference? Our post-modern world has made love the goal. As a result, simply to be “in love” is to achieve something. But it is not enough to be “in love.” The question we must ask is, “With what or whom are we in love?”

If you told your best friend that you were “in love,” what would be the first question he would ask you? “With whom?” Right? Because while you may be intoxicated by the feelings of infatuation, he is not. If he is honest, he will tell you whether or not the object of your love is worthwhile. The object is what makes the love either praiseworthy or foolish. For example, would you applaud a love for eating nuclear waste? Of course not! But you might applaud a love for charity, because it is a worthwhile object of love. Admittedly, God wants us to love everyone, but He does not desire us to be in a dating relationship or marriage with just anyone.

So what’s the point? All around us we see our society worshipping “love.” On billboards, magazine covers, and in music, television, and movies we get a glimpse of the world’s obsession with “love.”

But the next time you fantasize about a date with “that girl,” ask yourself the question, Is my ultimate goal to be “in love,” or in a relationship with her. I did not marry my wife because I wanted to be “in love,” but rather because I love her. She is the object of my love. Love is only the vehicle, not the destination. In the same way, God should be the primary object of our love as Christians, because He first made us the object of His love when He died on the cross. He came to earth to model true love, and died to show us His sacrificial love for us. He alone can define how and who we should love in a committed relationship, because He created both.

Even though I am grown up now, as I watched the last Star Wars prequel, I was reminded of my dreams of being that Jedi who protects and serves the galaxy with reckless abandonment. But as I look at my wife I realize that God has given me a greater quest than I could have ever imagined as a child. He has called me to be a man after His own heart, who protects and serves her with selfless commitment. I thank God that He chose my wife for me, and models for me how I should love her. He wants only the best for us. Put Him first, and let Him choose the object and the method of your love in a committed relationship. God is love.