I Belong to God

‘I belong to God.’ This little phrase has become somewhat of a mantra for me in the past several weeks. I say it in the morning when I awake to my rooster-crowing alarm clock, and I murmur it to myself as I set my rooster for 6 a.m. and fall face first into bed at night. I suppose the monastic order would call this meditation, but for me, it was an awkward recitation that sounded like a CD skipping.

The mantra originated in a seemingly innocent Sunday morning Bible study before church. It’s a women’s group that meets in a tiny room adjacent to the auditorium, and we all sit on the floor in a circle like an A.A. support group, valiantly staying awake to relate to one another’s struggles in the pursuit of God.

On a recent Sunday, we talked about belonging. The lesson, entitled “I Belong,” explained that salvation is a mutual belonging between God and us as His children. It follows that when we experience this belonging to God, we can fully understand salvation because we’re experiencing the covenant between God and humanity.

At the very mention of the word belonging, I found myself needing a hug. Our leader asked us to be still for five minutes and repeat “I belong to God” over and over in our minds. We were supposed to continue doing this every day for a week to ingrain the idea in our minds.

Although I’m not much for chanting, I dutifully said it over and over until I noticed something. Granted, I didn’t have this realization until later that week, but it happened one morning when I was fretting about going on a blind date. (I never can say no to these things.)

I was just about to have an anxiety attack when I calmly, unintentionally stated aloud, “I belong to God.” I was taken by the effect of the words, which had become a collection of familiar syllables and not much else. I really do belong to God, I thought elatedly. It doesn’t matter if this guy likes me or not, because it doesn’t change anything. My very fibers are intrinsically valuable. I don’t need to get my identity from a man, no matter how attractive he is.

Each day for as long as I can remember, I have felt as if I was on a quest for belonging. Perhaps you experience a similar urge. I yearn to belong at work, in each of my various friend groups, in my committees, at church, and in my family.

Some days I wander around just looking, subconsciously of course, for the place where I fit. If I can squeeze into a niche somewhere, then I’m pacified by a temporary sense of belonging. On the good days, I enjoy warmth, solidarity, and intimacy, and I derive some sense of identity from the people and entities to which I belong. On bad days, I feel like a goldfish that has jumped out of its bowl. No one calls me on the phone, and my life is permeated by a feeling of overwhelming isolation. No one praises the work I have done. No one even compliments my outfit or invites me to go out on Friday. Suddenly my identity seems to be deceased.

Many times our only comfort is found in belonging to God. As a young Christian single in the workplace, I often miss the affiliations of college. I no longer have a cadre of clubs to which I belong, endless friends and companions, or the solidarity of similar experiences with people my own age. This perceived loss has taught me that my identity is not in or of these things, which ironically allots me peace. I’ve allowed my status with God to assuage me in even the most troubling circumstances, as described in the following verse: “For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord” (Rom. 14:7-8).

Later that week, I was about to walk into my weekly accountability group. This cluster of girls, although my dear friends, can be somewhat difficult to navigate, and I often wonder where I fit in amongst them.

Do I really have a place?, I thought fearfully, my hand clutching the doorknob. Then I reminded myself, I belong to God, and immediately felt a confidence and comfort as if I had an actual presence at my side.

Speaking the words reiterated the knowledge that, within His person, God has chiseled out a place in the exact shape of my soul, a safe harbor I never have to leave, a point where I have the constant pleasure of His recognition.

We’ve all heard it before, but the pain of human loneliness can only be satiated by relating to God in a way that is deep and lasting. When we’re brought near and given the gift of belonging in salvation, we’ll never again be alone or alienated from God on any level. Alienation is the awfulness we experience as the opposite of belonging, the feeling that “no one cares about me” (Psalm 142:4b). God, however, holds us closer than a mother cradles her newborn child. Thus, we can dwell in His presence with a strong sense of identity and well-being in our jobs, activities, and relationships.

I finally understood that I, the occasional social misfit and endearingly forgetful drama queen, truly belong. I can officially stop looking, quit advertising, and cease squinting at the horizon for a place to belong because I already do. I belong to God.