Getting the Boot (in the Name of Love)

OK, so here’s the deal: In a matter of days, both of my best single friends fell in love with the women of their dreams. My bros! My weekend warriors! The men who would hit San Antonio Taco Company for chips and salsa at 10 p.m. and stay until 1 in the morning chewing the fat about life and… well, women.

This situation has been really hard. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve dated a healthy amount in the last few years and so have they… a month here with one girl and then she would say something that got on my nerves, and boom, I’m back in the saddle with the boys. Same with them. They’d date, fall fast for the girl, and before you could say, “Where’s what’s her name?,” they were out of the relationship and back hanging steady with the guys. But this time it’s different. Brooke and Annie (the loves of Andy’s and Dave’s lives) are here to stay, and I’ve been feeling like I’m getting the boot.

Lately I’ve been a little depressed. To be more accurate, I guess you could say I’ve been going through a bit of a grieving process. Hanging with the boys went from an every night event to maybe once on the weekend and very early Wednesday morning for coffee. Maybe it’s not exactly that bad, but things have definitely changed. (FYI: Andy got engaged to Brooke after only dating two months. They got married in October. And Dave will probably be tying the knot this summer.)

OK, back to me. (Do you see a pattern developing here?) After all my groveling in depression and rejection, I stopped for a moment, collected my thoughts, and did what every good Christian does when something messes up their perfect little world: I hit my knees, threw my hands in the air, and yelled, “God, why me?” Everything was working fine until two female monkey wrenches were thrown into the cogs of my perfectly predictable world. Before they came along, everything made sense, everything felt right, and I was never more than a call away from having plans every night of the week. Nothing is the same now.

Thankfully, I’m a level-headed fellow and one with a decent sense of humor, so I started looking for the silver lining in this mess.

For starters, I slowly realized that this stuff happens. Life changes, people change, friends get married, and their best friends move down on the totem pole of social priority - and it’s not such a bad thing. Heck, I’d do the same thing to them if given the chance!

Lesson 2: God desires and provides wonderful gifts for His children - like marriage and singleness, and with both, He calls for great faith and great patience. I have a life perfectly planned by the Creator, and He desires singleness for me now, as well as faith and patience.

Lastly, for those of us with friends getting married, if we play our cards right, we can actually come away with twice as many best friends in the process. In the last four months, I have come to genuinely adore Annie and Brooke. I know that my bros have made wonderful decisions in choosing to be with these girls, and they love me and treat me like a brother. I love them like family as well… plus they have lots of pretty friends and give great female advice!

Now Dave and Andy have both settled into their relationships with their loves, and they call to hang with me almost as much as they did before. (Ironically, I sometimes get too busy for them.) Things are somewhat back to normal, and I’ve come away learning some valuable lessons in the painfully wonderful process of best friends finding love before I do.