Away from Home for the Holidays?

Sure, there’s no place like home. But you can make new memories with your family of friends. The first time we spent Thanksgiving away from home, my brother and I started planning the menu weeks before. We needed to buy a turkey, obviously, but how big? What brand was best? How do you make gravy that isn’t lumpy? There were many serious and overwhelming questions that only one person could answer: our mother.

Several phone calls later we had gravy and stuffing recipes, turkey buying and preparation tips (at least a pound per person, and don’t forget to thaw it!), and pie recommendations. There was a lot of work involved, but we did it all with the steely-eyed determination of people with a singular (and delicious) goal: This meal was going to be a good one. Not just for us, but for the friends who would be our guests—our surrogate family.

It could have been a movie-worthy holiday catastrophe—a slapstick tale of smoke alarms, forgotten ingredients, and uncontrollable weeping. But somehow we pulled it all off with barely a hitch. We sat around a table full of food we’d made for our friends, prayed together, and spent the next hour laughing and telling stories as we feasted. This true celebration made it easy to feel the gratitude the holiday is supposed to inspire.

If you’re going to be away from your family this year and are considering your Thanksgiving options, here are three ways you can make the most of spending the holiday with your family of friends.

Talkin’ Turkey

All jokes about elastic-waist pants aside, a big part of this holiday celebration is about eating very specific, cherished foods—and lots of them. Turkey and mashed potatoes are basically universal, but many people have vastly different ideas of what fills up the rest of the table. Start a conversation about traditional holiday foods and you’re guaranteed to utter, “You put what in the stuffing?”—especially if you have friends who come from different regions of the country. Which is why a potluck is a fantastic idea for the day.

Susan Smythe has cooked and hosted several Thanksgiving dinners for her group of friends in Los Angeles and offers this advice on feeding a crowd: “I make all the traditional food I grew up with and have my non-cooking guests bring ice cream for pie, fancy jellies, or beverages. If anyone wants to cook something, I ask them to bring appetizers or desserts.”

So if you’re planning to host the meal, make the bird and your Aunt Tilly’s Fancy Marshmallow Yams or some other secret family recipe, and then delegate the rest to your guests. If you’re not hosting, ask the person who is what you can bring or how you can help. The burden (and cost) of food preparation shouldn’t fall on the shoulders of one person.

The More the Merrier

This is a day not only for gratitude but also for sharing the blessings we’ve been given, particularly with people who may especially need to be blessed. If you’ve got space at your table (or even if you don’t), expand the guest list beyond your close circle of friends. Make an announcement to your church’s young adults ministry, or post something on the bulletin board of your apartment building. Ask your friends if they know of a coworker or other acquaintance who might like to come. Invite anyone without a place to celebrate to your house for the holiday meal. Your invitation could mean more than you know.

Will Ziegenhorn, a frequent away-from-home holiday participant, says, “Back in Tennessee, Thanksgiving is one of the biggest times of the year. No matter what, all the family gets together. Thankfully, my roommates and some of their family cook a big meal, and it makes being away from home a little bit easier.”

An Extra Helping

Why not postpone dinner and serve together? There are many opportunities to help those in need, especially on a holiday such as Thanksgiving. Here are some ideas of places you can serve. Just call ahead to make arrangements.

• The Ronald McDonald House provides a “home away from home” for families of seriously ill children receiving treatment at nearby hospitals. These families are under a great deal of stress and are most certainly missing the sense of normalcy that a holiday can bring. Visit rmhc.com to find a House near you.
• Serve Thanksgiving dinner at a local homeless shelter or rescue mission. Look for opportunities to minister beyond the serving line. Sit down with the people and listen to their stories.
• Visit a nursing home in your area. Find out which residents don’t have family to share the holiday with and take time to talk with them. Let them share their stories of holidays past as a blessing to you both.
• Are you an animal lover? Visit a local shelter. Call ahead to see if it is OK to bring the animals special treats. Spend some time loving on these neglected ones.