A Hard Critique

My first year of design school was quite a shocker. I am actually still thinking through all that I went through in college and all that I learned. After my first semester in Interior Design I went home during Christmas break and cried for two weeks because I didn’t think I would make it four years like that.

Many days and nights were spent in the Art and Architecture Building at UT. I and my fellow classmates worked, ate, and slept in that building. We were working on projects—drafting, building, drawing, rendering, and making presentations. Projects that would take hours and hours. I rarely saw my roommates. I barely had a life outside the building. It was really hard. The people that I went to college with, who were in my design class, became like my family.

I often wonder why I stuck with it when I knew that I would probably be at home as a wife and mother. But the wondering stops because I learned incredible things that I value more than getting a degree.

Almost once a week we would have critiques. We would present our work to a group of professors who would look at it intently and give us some feedback. All of it would lead up to a final critique at the end of the semester. I don’t think I ever got through a final critique without bawling my eyes out over the criticism that I got. After a whole semester of hard work, my project would be torn in to pieces. However, I valued their opinions and words more than anything. It was just emotional because I had not slept in days.

I learned from these critiques. Eventually I learned how to take criticism. You have to take it with a smile. You have to weed out what is opinion and hold on to what is true. Definitely listen! Usually, in the moment, you will be devastated. But with time you will be grateful. The best critiques were from the professors who not only cared about my project but also cared about me as a designer.

It is not very often that I open my life up in a way like this. But I think that I need to. I need to be presenting my life before God daily. When I present myself before him I am humbled at what I really see in myself. When I let God really examine my heart I see some unsightly and ungodly things. And, yes, it rips me to pieces. All that I have worked so hard on is not enough. It is flawed. It is incomplete. My works are not pleasing.

When God examines my life he looks past the presentation and searches my heart and mind. He is way more interested in me than my work.

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works…”

We are his “work of art” doing his work. This is not of myself.

When I think back to my college years, I am so grateful for even the hardest critics. They did not care so much about the projects. They have long forgotten them I am sure. But they have not forgotten me. I am confident that if I walked back in that building they would know my name and would want to know how I am doing. I was their work for four years.

Although it is humbling to truly present your life (your heart, your soul, your mind) before the Lord, it is so freeing as well. At the end of the semester I would be so relieved to be done with my work! When I truly give my life—my daily life—to Him I can say, “I am done.” You take it from here.