The Lost Art of Authenticity in Church

Not long ago, I had a decision to make as a leader. The Bible study I was teaching had a session on pornography. I immediately had a flashback

During my freshman year in college, several “buddies” on our baseball team made it a practice to introduce me to every twisted porn magazine they could lay their hands on. I got hooked. My brain, heart and soul was twisted and torn. As it always does, porn burned a path of destruction through my life and my relationship with God. He broke me free of its curse, but it took some time and it took a severe toll on me.

Now, as the leader of this small group, I had to decide. Do I let these people who only know me as their Bible study leader also let them know me as a former porn addict?

You’ve probably faced a similar decision yourself. Can you afford to be authentic?

My answer to you is, you can’t afford NOT to be.

As LifeWay’s Threads team went out and interviewed people about Young Adult Ministry, we hit a nerve on this topic. We found an environment of authenticity was absolutely essential if young adults would ever consider darkening the door of an evangelical church. In fact, many of them told us a primary reason they refused to consider Christianity is because they felt most churchgoers refused to be real about their sin.

Here is some of what they told us:

You can’t have any kind of good Bible study if people aren’t being real.

and

What draws people is a climate of honesty. We don’t come and say we’re going to hide from each other and put on masks and give all trick answers and Sunday School answers.

On a positive note, one person was attracted by the authentic environment she saw in a church she attended.

I saw people with their knees in the dirt—they didn’t have it all together. They had their problems, too.

Authenticity draws people into your church, your group, your life. It doesn’t repel them. Now, there are lines that need to be drawn so your small group doesn’t turn into a slightly less seedy session of the Jerry Springer Show. And don’t get me wrong, people who are practicing sin don’t need to be leading any group of believers anywhere.

Let me draw the line between sin and practicing sin, just for clarity’s sake. Sin is when you steal one glance at a seedy magazine when you’re paying for your gas at your neighborhood convenience store. Practicing sin is when you sit down in front of your computer when no one else is around and visit the same porn site night after night.

Most of the time we as leaders err on the side of making people believe that we are plastic, perfect people who have never struggled with real life issues like sexual purity, anger and honesty. They need to know that we do—because they need to see real-life examples of people Jesus Christ is rescuing from sin and darkness. They need to see the hope that comes from repentance. They need to see real-life people who remind them of biblical sinners like Jonah, David, Paul and Matthew whose lives were changed and then used powerfully by God.

So let them see you clearly as a sinner who God is molding into the person He wants you to be.

What did I do? I took the risk. I told my small group about my near-destruction from pornography in college. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. There was lots of nodding, talking and crying. It was a time of Bible study and discussion truly blessed by the Holy Spirit. A young man waited for me outside near my car. He wanted to tell me that pornography had a firm hold on his life and he was being tempted by homosexuality. Our church got him the help he needed and his life got back on the solid rock of Jesus Christ.

Just a few months ago, he came to town on a business trip and asked me meet to meet him for breakfast. Since we’re being authentic here, I was a little bit nervous. Since I hadn’t seen him in a while, I wasn’t sure where he was spiritually.

He told me he was in a great church. He told me he was involved in a very strong discipleship group. He told me he thought God was turning him into a leader. I agreed.

He also told me one more thing. He made it clear that if I had not been authentic about my sin problem with our group that day, he would have never approached me with his sin problem and he would have never gotten the help he needed.

Be authentic. Others need to see this quality in you.