Sherpas, Mentors, and Intergenerational Ministry

Churches that are successfully reaching young adults are making their churches intergenerationally strong. Read on as we discuss the importance of intergenerational ministry.

True or False. Young adults desire to only be with other young adults?

Categorically false. When you’re moving through a time of complex transitions in your life, you need as many friends, cheerleaders and mentors in your life as possible. You need to know that you are going to make it. Who better to help you understand that than people who have already lived through their 20s? The encouragement and perspective of more “seasoned” adults is a huge asset to young adults.

How do young adults redefine family and community?

Two big factors force young adults to redefine community in 2007. One is the huge impact of divorce on families, where many people in this generation have had their families wrecked by a 50 percent divorce rate. Maybe they have a good relationship with a parent or maybe both separately, but it makes defining “family” and living in close relationship with your family very difficult. The other issue is mobility. You move where the jobs are, whether the job is India or Indiana. You may very well live on the other side of the globe from your friends from high school and college or your family. So, both of these factors make building a virtual family a necessity. Your family becomes the people you work with, your cycling buddies, your movie group and hopefully, your church family. Your friends are your family.

What are the benefits/values to mentoring a young adult? (Both for the young adult and the mentor).

One, it’s a biblical command. The book of Titus asks all of us in different generations to be kind to each other, to love each other and to learn from each other. Two, we live in a lonely world. Do you have too many friends? I don’t. Having a mentoring relationship with a young adult allows you to build a deep friendship. Three, if we do not successfully hand the values and teachings of the church to the next generation, we have not fulfilled our obligation to Christ, our Savior. Four, it connects us to the real world. Psychologists tell us that once you get past the age of 35, you begin to get a little comfortable and too set in your ways to make changes to your personality. Having a mentoring relationship with a young adult helps you understand that periodically you need to reinvent yourself and reconnect yourself to what’s happening in the world and how you need to change to keep yourself relevant. One last thing: You really can’t understand how to carry another’s burdens unless you walk a mile in their shoes. When you connect in this type of relationship, you start walking in the shoes of a young adult. Those shoes are not comfortable at times. That’s good for us to understand.

What have you learned personally from mentoring young adults?

I have learned how tough the world is for young adults these days. The pressures they face are entirely different than the ones I faced in my 20s. I clearly understand they need a different kind of support mechanism. They need the church to step up and help them. I have also learned about hope. If you spend ANY time at all around today’s generation of young adults, they will give hope for the future. They are not about materialism. They are not about just climbing the corporate ladder. They are about friendships, family and making the world a better place in which to live. They are unbelievably creative about finding solutions to problems. They are about embracing the Bible and love of Christ.

What are some of the initial steps a church should take when developing an intergenerational ministry?

Start with your young adults. Ask them what they need from the church. My guess is you will hear about the need for relationships and life skills, everything from building a resume to changing the oil in a car, from managing finances to learning to cook. Then go to the older adults in your church. Tell them you are trying to make this generation feel comfortable and loved in your church. Tell them you are trying to make a place for their children and grandchildren in your church. Ask them for their help. Go to the best cook in your church - you know who she is. Ask her to start a cooking class at her home or at the church for the young adults who want to learn. Just keep going down the line to fill all of these needs. The most important thing to do to make sure the median and older adults know that you CANNOT succeed in young adult ministry in your church without their help. Ask them to pray. Ask them to lead. Ask them to love.