Establishing Cross Generational Connection

As we continue to comprehend younger adults and what they’re seeking, we must learn to appreciate the heavy value they place upon connecting with people who have more life experience than they do. Some would call this mentoring or cross-generational ministry. Regardless, the bottom line is that they want to learn from someone else’s experiences.

Moreover, younger adults are looking for a connection with the church and a connection with people who are willing to walk alongside them and give a little advice here and there. They’re looking for mentors who are willing to invest in their lives and teach them some things along the way. According to young adults, one thing that makes their life experiences more valuable is the opportunity to share those experiences with someone else.

Our research clearly shows that this is not simply an issue with those who do not attend church—both churched and unchurched young adults are looking for mentors and friends of all ages who have gone through the experiences which they are about to encounter. This is understandable considering the new facets of life that young adults are experiencing. They are starting careers, paying their own bills, beginning families, and developing new interests—just to name a few.

Some of these experiences are huge, life-changing experiences. And young adults prefer not to make the “rookie mistakes” if those missteps can be avoided. Despite any level of preparation or advance warning, they recognize that they’ll still have some struggles. And that’s fine. But, with a mentor, they have someone to experience the hard times with and also someone to rejoice with in times of success.

Though it may sound like young adults are only looking for what they can get out of relationships, quite the opposite appears to be true. Although they do cherish building relationships with those who are older and wiser than they are, young adults are also extraordinarily willing to invest themselves in the lives of those who are younger and have even less life experience than they do. These younger adults are committed to providing for others what they hope will be provided for them.

As we explore the ramifications of these findings over the next several pages, it’s important to decide what we, the Church, are going to do to meet this need amongst the younger generation. It’s time for the DTR—defining of the relationship. Are we going to commit to this or not? What’s going to happen in the future? What do we want to happen in the future? What will the connection be, if there is one, between younger adults and the church? For them, it’s pretty clean cut. They desire to be in a relationship. Better yet, they desire to have multiple relationships.

The truth is that many within the younger generation are willing to get involved in as many relationships as the church will offer. They’ll volunteer; they’ll go on mission trips, or they’ll collect coloring books. Whatever the needs is, they are willing to step up. But the reality is they have needs, too.

Yes, younger adults will be happy to mentor a student or tutor a child. But, they would also love it if somebody, older and wiser, would mentor them. They are interested in other generations, but they also want to be of interest to other generations. They’ll use their talents, their gifts, and their skills; they’re willing to invest. So willing, they run the risk of spreading themselves too thin. They’re looking for a connection. They’re ready to link up, lock arms, serve, and learn from somebody else. Wouldn’t it be great if they could get that from those connected to Christ and the church?

We’d love to hear some of the successes or challenges that you are experiencing in your efforts to develop intergenerational connections.