The Power of Confronting Problems
After 44 years of life, I should have learned this by now, but I learned it afresh today.
When you have a problem, confront it—head on.
For the past two weeks, I have been waking up in the middle of the night, worrying about a challenge I am facing. Roadblocks have been piled in the way day after day, making an imposing challenge seem completely impossible. It has caused a crisis of faith in my life, a crisis of commitment and a crisis in my family life. I felt like the ultimate ostrich, sticking my head in the sand and nearly asphxiating myself with the problems in the process.
I have been praying to God for wisdom, but I have been unwilling to put legs to what He was calling me to do—talking it out.
Today, I sat down with two of my friends who are shareholders in this effort and talked through all of the roadblocks and what we could do to remove them.
About two hours of frank discussion later, we all feel better about the future and this challenge we are all facing together. They were refreshed to see that someone else had run into the everyday issues they face. I was refreshed because they saw the issues, acknowledged them and pledged to help me remove the roadblocks.
Sometimes, I am willing to turn my life upside down to avoid a tough conversation.
We have to have tough conversations, not only for us, but for the betterment of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
About the Author
Jim Johnston has worked in a variety of roles, ranging from marketing to publishing to Internet development. Prior to coming to LifeWay, he worked as a reporter and editor for the Montgomery Advertiser and also as an adult-in-missions editor at the Brotherhood Commission in Memphis. Jim and his wife Tammy have been married for 23 years and have two sons, Spenser, 17, and Ethan, 10.
There have been 4 replies so far
Jim,
Thanks for sharing this. I’ve just recently had this rude awakening/reminder also.
Getting things out in the open and talking things out is SO much better! In my case, we still have some tough conversations to come in the future, but at least we are not trying to ignore the elephant in the room and we’ve opened the door to conversation.
1 | Sandy B
Sunday, August 24, 2008, at 6:58pm
Sandy, I think you have to make ongoing commitment to do this everywhere. I think what I need to do is develop consistency in this area and always being willing to be real and to address the elephants. Great thoughts.
2 | Jim Johnston
Sunday, August 24, 2008, at 9:33pm
sometimes it’s a matter of pride that keeps us from opening up the way we should. it’s not that we would say outloud that we don’t want or need help, or that we were too good to ask for any, but somehow that sentiment still takes a hold of decisions we make and converstaions we have. i know from personal experience that it always seems easier, at first, to try to tackel things on your own because you know how you want things done, and so it’s just easier to do it yourself…until you find yourself scrambling in multiple directions needlessly, because you relied only on what you could bring to the table.
pot luck dinners are always better when you invite other people…green bean casserole needs something to go with, it doesn’t serve on it’s own as a meal. but when you add in the fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and hawiian rolls things start to look up. (sorry i just ate lunch)
we weren’t made to operate in a solo act (It is not good for man to be alone) so we need to make sure we aren’t holding on to too much, and denying others the opportunity to serve. sometimes, in the effort to not trouble others, we inadvertantly refuse them the chance to serve as God had intended. because even those of us who are usually on the giving side of things still need to be helped and served.
but, jim, i’m right there with you. being consistent in this is very difficult. i can’t sit still at church events, i feel like i have to do -something- even if it’s not something i planned. and that gets unhealthy, quick. we need to look for those little sabbath opportunities that God gives us. we may still have to pull our oxen out of the ditch on the sabbath, but we can at least know others will help us if we just ask.
3 | benhedgspeth
Monday, August 25, 2008, at 1:07pm
Ben, There is a wonderful insight that you touched on here. Is the velocity of our world tending to move us away from conflict resolution. Do we feel like we have to move and act so fast that there is not time to bring everyone onto the same page? Sometimes, it’s not simple cowardice on my part. It’s just my drive to get things done in what I define as a timely fashion that doesn’t drive me to this. Really have to embrace that it is more about the the journey than the destination. Good stuff.
4 | Jim Johnston
Monday, August 25, 2008, at 1:34pm
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