Modernizing the Mercenaries

“In 1972 a crack-commando unit was sent to military prison for a crime the didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem… If no one else can help… And if you can find them, maybe you can hire… THE A-TEAM.”

So the opening credits went for perhaps the greatest television show known to mankind that ran in the glorious TV years known as the 1980’s. From 1983 to 1986 (and still through the lore of YouTube), we got to see Colonel John “Hannibal” Smith, Lt. Templeton “Faceman” Peck, Capt. H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock (who incidentally spent the first four seasons residing in a mental institution), and the absolutely incomparable B.A. Baracus. Rumors abound about what B.A. actually stands for.

That’s beside the point. The point is that there has long been talk of an A-Team movie, and I’ll be honest: I can’t think of a better way to spend a Saturday than watching Hannibal put on a mask that makes him look like an old man, Face wearing a suit and romancing the innocent female victim the team is trying to help, Murdock barking at an imaginary chicken and all of them trying to trick B.A. once again into getting into an airplane despite his paralyzing fear of flying. All the while these bad-boy do-gooders helping the cause of the oppressed while running from the military police. Has there ever been a better idea? I’m not sure who I would cast for the movie, though, but here’s a suggestion:

• Hannibal … George Clooney
• Face … Mark Wahlberg
• Murdock … Owen Wilson
• B.A. … Mr. T. (He’s ageless.)

And while we’re at it, here are a few other movies I’d like to see made from TV shows: Knight Rider; 21 Jumpstreet; Airwolf; Mask (the totally awesome but incredibly underrated cartoon). That’s just a few. I welcome your suggestions of absolutely necessary movies, as well as casting suggestions.